”In a closed society where everybody’s guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.” Hunter S. Thompson
Semestern är slut och det är dags att hitta tillbaka till Internet igen. Vanligtvis brukar jag läsa ”Nothing To Do With Arbroath”, som i princip är en (nästan) verifierbar version av ”En Ding Ding Värld”, dvs. idiotiska, bisarra eller bara väldigt ovanliga nyheter och polisrapporter från hela världen (eller ja, mestadels den anglosaxiska världen). Rubrikerna är förstås det mest fantasieggande, men ofta bjuder även artiklarna på underhållande detaljer.
Under April månad bjöds vi på följande guldkorn:
Texas trooper ordered to undergo counselling after posing for photo with Snoop Dogg
Woman charged with murder after saying dog shot her boyfriend
Man arrested after naked cricket bat-swinging toy shop rampage
Disorderly goat detained by police after headbutting door
Teenager killed after being hit by brick thrown by monkey
Woman says she hit husband on the head with hammer to protect cats
Man pepper sprayed after stabbing his girlfriend in the buttocks with pitchfork
Goat not ghost responsible for turning lights on at college
Police unimpressed by drunk man who ate glass beer bottle before going for a lie down
Woman poured barbecue sauce on her husband before chasing after him with knives
Smell of bacon led police to pork thieves
Woman allegedly attacked husband with knife because of the terrible smell he left in toilet
Mother-in-law hit by bullet that killed armadillo
Woman who hit man on head with baseball bat says she didn’t want to to be his girlfriend
Woman apologises for squirting police officer with breast milk
Man who refused to leave hospital after being denied an enema arrested
Earthworms rain from the sky over Norway
Naked man claiming to be God and Thor had sex with tree before attacking police officer
Men stabbed each other with broken beer bottles during debate about which is best phone
Vigilance urged after naked grunting bald man seen aggressively masturbating at bus stop
Woman threatened ex-partner after learning he’d slept with prostitute who was her son’s girlfriend
Man arrested after allegedly assaulting wife with dangerous waffle
Three people arrested for possession of meth, heroin, ginseng and a squirrel
Burglar tried to make getaway on wheelchair he had stolen from victim
Devout Christian horrified after being assigned ‘satanic’ 666 car licence plate
’Moronic’ man badly burned while trying to steal live 11,000 volt electrical cable faces jail
Possibly drunken sailor broke both legs after jumping eight floors into hotel swimming pool
Man who stabbed colleague with steak knife in onion ring row spared jail
Ungrateful goose pooed in policeman’s pocket
Man traumatised after part of nipple bitten off by zebra
Knife-wielding naked woman chased boyfriend through neighbourhood in dispute over money
Man allegedly high on meth surfed on stranger’s car
Woman accused of flashing at lawn mowers
Woman crashed stolen school bus into police car before trying to swim to Canada